Indonesian men in the eyes of Japanese women

This is just a personal observation from the experience of living in Sapporo, cold city in northern Japan, famous for its Snow Festival. Despite Sapporo ranked as the third largest city, the city is quite far from the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan area. Cycling little away from the center of the city, you’ll feel the silence of the field, though still full with typical Japanese apartment which predominantly wooden construction. A Japanese friend once said that in Sapporo clock ticked more slowly than Tokyo. In other words, even with the same work ethic, the Sapporo seems more relaxed than others in Tokyo. However, the typical Japanese person who “workaholic” was also seen in everyday life in Sapporo.

Sapporo City

Saturday in Japan is a holiday (to work), but we will still see plenty of men in suits down in Sapporo Station (main station and located in the center of town). suit was the office uniform. This means that, in spite of holiday, many Japanese people, especially men, working overtime. even the same condition we can see on Sunday. On Saturday and Sunday, especially in the summer, you often see the mother and the child walking and enjoying the beauty of Odori Park, Maruyama, or any other park. There are just a walk, sit and even play with children. Odori Park is a city park along the nearly 1.2 km is located in the Centre of the city. In this park in winter, the very famous snow festival where often celebrates. Maruyama is a park in downtown as well, but not in the heart of the city like Odori. In the centre there is a small lake where the people riding the boat in the summer time. that garden is a central for flea market. In the winter, the Park was used as a simple cross-country skiing. What’s interesting is rare to see a father who accompany their children to play. Where appropriate, only has one or two men, usually they are still wearing a suit, which means new homes overtime. The same conditions will be encountered in the subway and malls. Very little visible intact families where the father, mother and son walk together.

Sapporo Snow Festival

It is different from many major cities in Japan, where the values of the family in Sapporo is still quite high. Married, have children and family life, is still part of life that most of the population who live in Sapporo. In contrast to what was observed and explained in Hiroshima, Kobe, Yokohama, and some other major cities.There, very rare to see families playing in the park or to see mothers pushing the strollers. Generally in those city parks is dominated by teenagers who playing with each other.

However, Japan as a whole, men were more dominant than women. In the family, women are responsible for everything from taking care of husbands and households. husband’s job was working for a living. Japanese Novels and movies, both old and new adjust also indicate that indirectly. If a family is going to traveling, then the wife got everything ready. In fact, to prepare and put all things in the car was done by the wife. The husband just went straight into the car and drive. which is often seen at the mall or at the park was equally, husband was never bothered with the matters of a child. Children splattered food, dirty clothes, change hats, clean face, and all the ‘little tasks’ done by the wife.

in Japan, men are superior to women has been seen since a teenager. More than once I saw a young couple, if they were to travel, so that the burden of carrying bag or more is done by woman. Even the few times I’d see, if there was only one bike, then the men must ride the bike, while women is walk !

So that is the Japanese culture and it seems there is no problem with it. This was proven, with hundreds of years of culture like that, the Japanese people continue to survive and progress until now.

Apparently some Japanese women’s view of cultural change as a little more closely familiar with Indonesian citizens who living there. In Sapporo, there are many Japanese people, who are usually female(because men prefer to work and get drunk), often accompanied with students events and Indonesian families. They will observe the simple things, but very unusual when compared with the culture that they run in daily life. The strange thing for them to see the husband washing the dishes, or husbands in the mall carrying groceries, or a husband who closed and locked the door were family will doing trip, or a husband change his son clothes or the husband in the park feed the food to their children. It is also remarkable to see the husband doing Cook and prepare food for his wife, or playing with children while his wife sitting and reading.

They also feel surprised if see some male students from Indonesia always deliver and not allow the female students to go home alone in the night. Japan is one of the safest countries in the world. no fear to go home alone at night. They were even more surprised if knew the reason for not let them alone because fear something would happen on the road, but because of their value as a woman. They feel more surprised if there is someone that is willing to give his bike to riding by them while the owners is walk. There was an event, we walked five, three men (Indonesian students) and two Japanese women. we all bring a bicycle, and very difficult to make and also convince them to use two of our bikes. things become difficult because of the ordinary language and opposite cultural differences. Frankly, when it was offered not because we want to look gentle, but we want them to get home soon. But still very difficult to convince them and in the end we all walk and a bit of delay to get home. In another case, eventually we no longer offer a bike but firmly say, “take this bike or we do not go”.

Incidentally, in a discussion to discuss things, almost all Indonesian people, are people who will listen and respect other people’s opinions. In every discussion, Japanese people are usually quiet and obedient. In many cases, they saw that the Indonesian people have a better culture than their culture, especially in relation to men and women. Two of the three Japanese female friends if asked whether they liked the Indonesian man or not ? Then they will say that they like it and even wanted to marry an Indonesian man. Many Japanese friends who often joined are those aged at least the end of the age of 20 years, which saw the opposite sex is not the handsome and dashing, but more on the characters. The evidence of how ‘famous’ Indonesian man in Japan, at least in Sapporo area alone was found about six families, where their husband was an Indonesian. Perhaps a coincidence, the people of Indonesia who come to Japan are the chosen people. But if we know more about Japanese friends, we’ll know that almost all of them had been to Indonesia, especially to Bali. They already know and interact with Indonesian man ‘directly from the source’. And their opinions have not changed that Indonesian men appreciate women more than Japanese men.


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March 2010


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